B. I don’t know what the fuck the day is…

I’m a little tipsy–sometimes it’s a little easier to be tipsy than sober.  I just wish I could get courage from this intoxication and say what I should say to people to properly stick up for myself but I think about others when I’m tipsy too.  Damn my niceness!  I want this horrible feeling of shitty-ness to all end sometime soon but that would require so much more alcohol and, quite frankly, I don’t think my bladder can handle that much more liquid.  I think it’s easier to be tipsy because I don’t know what to decide for my life–and it also makes me feel just a smidgen less lonely.  OH, LONELY!  How I will forever hate you more than any other thing!  Seriously, anything!  Like a million times worse than sunburn….and I really, REALLY HATE SUNBURN.  Alright, I gotta pee.

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 6/28/13

People should not harass others…it’s annoying!  It’s particularly annoying when you’re minding your own business, walking down the street and someone yells at you, saying that they like your ass.  First of all, way to compliment a woman and boost her self esteem.  Second, you’re a bastard!  Just shut up!  It’s totally degrading and sets a horrible example for how women are treated.

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 6/20/13

Why is it that baby’s “spit up” but adults always “throw up,” “barf,” “upchuck,” “hurl,” or “ralph”?  “Spit up” sounds so much more….approachable…I guess?  Or maybe it sounds a bit more innocent.  I, personally, have yet to “spew” because of excessive intoxication or “puke” for reasons other than food poisoning, so why is mine not considered “spit up”?  At what age do we stop calling it “spit up” and start making it sound so gross?  Just wondering 🙂

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 6/18/13

Why is aimlessness always considered to be something negative?  I think that aimlessness, to a certain degree, is quite nice.  I can sit and read or go for a run or even just space out for a bit–it’s a little refreshment in our busy day-to-day lives.  All in all, it’s fun to be aimless but when my “aimless day” is over I always feel overly unproductive.  Why is that?  It’s another damn double edged sword that just is.  Fuck. Oh well, I guess we just have to enjoy it while it lasts and know that work will get done another day.

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 6/3/13

Sometimes I feel like this poor hamster.  But, don’t worry buddy!  It’ll get better soon!

Now don’t you feel better

B. 5/29/13

Sometimes I really say stupid shit that probably hurts peoples feelings or frustrates them to the point of huge annoyance.  I’m sorry for that.  I don’t always mean what comes out of my mouth but sometimes I just need to say it to someone  other than myself or the damn, drooling, stray cat that lives in the scrap pile by my house.  I know I need to get out of this rut but I need to be the one who chooses to do so…I get all “I’m my own person” towards people when they’re just trying to help me.  Sorry…

I know I’m going to need to chipper up soon–and I do feel that it is coming up here rather quickly–but it’ll just take a bit of time.  I’m working on it… 🙂

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 5/20/13

I hate this paper that I have to write.  I feel like I am going in circles but that seems to be the only way to ensure that the reader understands me–it’s soooo stupid.  I probably don’t like it so much because it’s literally the last paper (EVER) that I’ll have to write for school….unless I go back someday or decide to take courses just to take them.  Well we won’t think of that now, gotta think of the damn paper.  I’m so psyched for school to be over, it’s not even funny.  I hate to say it but I’m a little burnt out.  I want to get paid for doing this shit, please 🙂  That would be so awesome!  But as for now, I am happy that I’ve got these two degrees and I feel very proud of them indeed!  Promise I’m proud, El Destroyo!

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 5/19/13

WARNING: This post is, in no way, upbeat, silly, or empowering.  If you are looking for upbeat, silly, or empowering  you will have to go somewhere else and, honestly, I feel pretty indifferent with what you do.  So, here it goes…

Trying to stay motivated or not afraid of the future is difficult sometimes.  Sorry, those of you who have to put up with my whining about this subject so often but what else is a girl to do?  Sometimes I just need someone to listen for a bit—you will let me know if it’s getting too pathetic won’t you?  Thanks!

Don’t worry, I know it will get better but I’m really at a loss until that point.  I think I just need something to look forward to…and that’ll happen soon enough (trust me, I know graduating is exciting and I truly am impressed with myself but then I remember that I don’t know what to do next).  God, I’m sappy…so much so that I’m even annoying myself. Dammit!  Well, this has officially turned into some sort of diary entry from a third grade school girl.

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 5/10/13

So, it’s a little sad that our first blog post of the “new year” is in May, but at least I have no problem admitting that I am not an overachiever in any way, shape, or form  😀

Why now, you may ask?  Honestly, because I’m currently writing my last ever paper in my academic career (if you can call it that!) and it’s harder than you’d think…I’m avoiding it/thinking of different words that I can use so that I don’t sound like a fucking broken record.  Damn papers!

I guess there are other things on my mind as well though and it’s frustrating to not be able to write or say or feel the right words.  What are the right words and why wasn’t I ever given them?  Maybe that’s me being pessimistic at this point in my life but it’s really hard not to be that way sometimes.  Maybe we all just need to learn to be content with where we are in our lives by being honest with ourselves/where we are in this lifelong thing/those closest to us?  I don’t know—I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist or any other -ist that gives me the right to say what things are supposed to be or how things are supposed to be but I think the best that we can each do is try.  We need to try to be alright with ourselves and where our own lives are currently and where they are heading.  We need to try to our best not to compare ourselves with what our friends are doing or to what’s socially acceptable for us to be doing and just be.    It gets frustrating that there are so many expectations for us millennial’s and that many of them are unrealistic.  I’m not saying all of them are unrealistic but I don’t think that many of them work for everyone at all points in life.  For instance, I’ve been having some boy-stalker (not quite the restraining order sense, but annoying) issues lately which tells me that, unlike many people my age, a personal/romantic-esque relationship is not quite in my cards right now.  Not saying that something won’t happen sometime in the future to change that but this makes me not fit into that certain expectation.  On the other hand, I’m getting a second college degree at quite a young age (though a “real” job would be nice soon) within the next month-ish and I guess that makes me fit into a different expectation of our generation.

I guess we just have to take what we can get?

Holy shit this sounds stupid and preachy!  That was not my intent at all—sometimes I just feel the need to tell someone (I guess this is what I’ve got right now) what I’m thinking and if this is in any way offensive I sincerely apologize.  Damn expectations of not sounding stupid and preachy!! 😀

Now don’t you feel better?

B. 12/22/12

Christmas is coming and I’m very excited for it everything except stores being open until midnight!  I feel like that’s ridiculous for people to do; companies really need to stop that kind of shit!

Now don’t you feel better?